Dear Guru,                                       

I am a regular reader of Us magazine. I am 15 years old and am the youngest child. I have four older sisters who are all married and are settled. Since they all are independent, they live their lives happily. I have no issue with that, my problem is my parents.

After the marriage of my elder sisters (they all got married recently one after another) they are now obsessed with me and now I am the ‘centre’ of their attention Though they are caring and loving, of late they have become over protective about me, especially now that I am the only child left with them. They note the timings of my comings and goings. They keep a vigilant eye on my activities – with whom I am chatting; what I am doing on Facebook; what I am watching on T.V etc. They ask me too many questions which simply irritates me. They treat me like a little child. They were not that strict before. I don’t have my own cell phone. I am not involved with any one but they don’t trust me and keep checking my inbox. Guru, please help me.

Girl in Trouble

Girl in Trouble,

Take it easy, girl. Your parents have become lonely and it’s very difficult for them to live with this reality that their other daughters have gone. Try to think from their perspective – the home which was once filled with laughter, has now become empty. And it’s not easy to live in an empty house, however, they still have you and, of course, now you are their centre of attention. Don’t take their over protectiveness so negatively. They are only concerned about your well being. You see, when you were surrounded by your other sisters they were relaxed as they knew they were there to take care of their little sister. But now that they all have left they have become cautious about you as they don’t want you to get spoiled. Try to win their trust by openly talking and chatting with your friends in front of them. Invite your friends over; when they meet your friends their apprehensions will go away automatically. Secondly, try to maintain a cheerful atmosphere at home by sharing jokes with them. Tell your sisters to spend weekends with your parents so that they don’t feel lonely. Don’t worry; your situation in the house will improve gradually. Good luck!

I want to get rid of my bad habit

Hey Guru,

I am a 14-year-old girl. My problem is that I have been thumb sucking since I was two years old. I know this is a bad habit and suits babies only, but I can’t help it. My mother has tried every trick to make me stop doing this, but nothing has worked so far. Please help me.

E. F

Dear E.F,

Thumb sucking is quite a natural phenomenon among babies. It has even been proven that some kids begin sucking their thumb in the womb. Kids usually stop sucking their thumbs by the age of four or five. Old remedies include bitters, lemon juice, vinegar, or pickle juice poured directly onto the thumb. I think your mother ‘over looked’ this habit of yours when these remedies had a chance to work. May she was too busy to realise that you had been doing it for such a long time. According to psychologists “children usually suck their thumbs when hungry, tired or hurt. The thumb takes the place of pacifiers and other soothers. The practice of sucking the thumb serves to calm the child and gives him reassurance that something he loves (his thumb) is always there.” May be you started doing this as you felt insecure or lonely. There must have been some psychological reasons behind your persistent thumb sucking. Now you are a grown up girl and it seems that old tricks will not work in your case. I suggest you and your mother consult a psychologist, as only professional assistance can help you quit this habit. Good luck!

Am I coming between them?

Hello Guru,

I really like my cousin ‘S’. He is really a sweet guy but he is involved romantically with another girl. When I came to know about his affair, I really got jealous but then I pacified myself and took it in my stride. Now S and I are very good friends. I have accepted his girlfriend, too, but the problem is that his girlfriend does not seem to like me. She says that because of me she cannot develop an understanding with S. I don’t want to come between them, but I don’t want to lose my friend either. What should I do?

Confused Friend

Dear Confused Friend,

Normally, it is very difficult for girlfriends to digest their boyfriends’ female friends. Actually, they become insecure if they find that their men are enjoying female company. You can’t really blame S’s girlfriend as she is also the typical type who cannot stand her boyfriend’s female friends. If you really don’t want to spoil their relationship then simply stay away. You don’t need to make an official announcement like ‘I am quitting’. Just distance yourself from S gradually. You need to understand that if someone is not comfortable in your presence then it’s much better to leave that place altogether. So don’t make things complicated for S or for yourself. Give some space to S and concentrate on your own life. I am sure you have other friends as well, so try to spend more time with them. With the passage of time you will forget about S and am sure you will find peace, too. Good luck!

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