I am a 21-year-old boy. I am a student and I go to an institute where I saw a new female teacher. She does not teach me, as I have a different course. When I saw her I felt something different for her. She is unmarried and is about 26 years of age. Now I am totally in love with her. When my classes are over, I go to the staff room to see her. She also looks at me sometimes. I have tried to convey through gestures that I love her and I am sure she has realised it. I want to tell her that I love her, but I am afraid that she may not like it and become angry with me. I am confused and have not been able to talk to her. I want to express my feelings to her because I am fully devoted to her. What should I do?
Dear Meek Zangi,
She probably thinks of you as a student only. She must have noticed you watching her and that is why she looked at you. Don't read anything in this gesture. She is 26, and would probably marry soon, whereas you still need plenty of time to settle down. Still, if you are so serious about her, instead of using gestures that probably would offend any decent girl, talk to her and tell her that you love her. If you cannot perk up the courage to do so, try to forget her, which probably is the best course anyhow.
I know this column is mostly for adults but I have a problem that I need to share. I am 14 years old. My problem is my ex-boyfriend. A few months back, an old male friend proposed me and told me he loved me. Since I was single, I agreed at once. But right after that, he started persuading me to send him my pictures in undergarments. I refused at once but he said that if I loved him then I would have sent him the pictures. I gave up and finally sent him two pictures of me in my undergarments. Right after that, he stopped talking to me. He blocked me on Facebook and wouldn't answer my calls or messages. Finally, one day he messaged me and told me that he didn't love me and wanted to end our relationship. I was terribly hurt. Now, slowly and gradually I am starting to forget him. But one thing still haunts me. He has seen me half-naked. I know this is not acceptable in Islam and I regret doing it. What can I do to be forgiven?
I am a 26-year-old guy and am in love with my cousin, D, but the problem is that another cousin of mine H seems to be interested in her. She is a BBA student, and I have done MBA. H is very rich and will take over his father's business. That is why he has not been able to clear his B.Com, although he is six months older than me. As cousins we enjoy a good relationship, and have always been friends, but he has not told me that he fancies D. I don't want to break my friendship with him, but I cannot leave D, either. I am stuck between friendship and love. On the one hand I cannot imagine my life without her and on the other hand I don't want to leave my cousin and friend. Should I disclose my feelings to D? I am afraid that she might choose him because he is way better off, and I will never be able to compete with him financially. I will also lose face if she turns me down and accepts my cousin H's proposal. I am highly confused. Please help me out.
Tattered and Torn
You made a mistake, which I seriously hope does not return to haunt you. God is great, and forgives us when we are genuinely repentant, but people are different. They have long memories and cruel natures. Let's hope this guy does not bother you or threaten you any further. My dear, you just don't send your pictures to anyone who proposes you or claims to love you. Had he loved and respected you, he would never have asked you to do anything so outrageously bad. You are only 14, and were not thinking straight, but even then you knew what he wanted was wrong. It is possible that he was testing you and when you obliged him, he put you down as a girl with loose morals. I hope the buck stops here. However, if he makes anymore demands, you must let your mother know. I know it will be hard, but if you don't then you might get into bad trouble. Facebook is a fine thing, but all good things can be used badly, and many girls suffer because they use Facebook without exercising any discretion. Keep praying to God to forgive you and save you from any adverse consequences. Best of luck!
Dear Tattered and Torn,
Your problem can be sorted out easily if you go about it in a positive way. You claim that you are in love, but you don't even know whether the girl reciprocates your feelings or not. Secondly, you seem to be sure that your cousin is also in love with her, but it is possible that he just likes D and is friendly with her. You can go about it in two ways: you can approach your parents and explain the situation. Let them speak to D's parents without divulging your feelings. The other way is to talk to D and ask her if she loves your cousin in a straight forward way. If she does, then you would do well to offer her your good wishes, and get on with your life. If she says she doesn't love him, you can talk to her about your feelings. For, even if your cousin loves her, it is D's decision that will clinch the matter. Good luck!
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