I want to get out of depression

Salaam Guru, 

I am 15 years old. I was involved with my cousin S who was younger than me. He recently ditched me for another girl. I really got hurt. I am still in a state of depression. I know if I want to get out of depression I need someone else in my life. There is this guy in my school, E. He is really cute and I have developed a crush on him (after my break up with S). But the problem is that he does not want to talk to me. Guru, please suggest me something as I want to forget S, and E seems to be the knight in shining armour.

Helpless

Dear Helpless,

You seem to be a very emotional person who wants to fall in love, no matter what. Girl, you are freshly hurt and now you are adamant about wanting to hurt yourself again. I fail to understand why. Give yourself some time. You are only 15 and you should not be in a hurry. It’s fine that you want to get out of depression, but it’s not necessarily to fall in love again by force to do so. When you know that E is not interested in you then why are you wasting your time thinking about him? I think you are still very immature. I suggest you forget both S and E and try to concentrate on your studies. Engage yourself in some meaningful activities. Good luck! 

Medical books make me yawn!

Hey Guru,

I am a 21-year-old medical student and I am really depressed. My problem is that despite working very hard, I am unable to remember things. It’s very difficult for me to memorise notes. I also find it difficult to participate in group discussions. I find medical books quite boring. It’s not that I don’t like the profession; I want to become a doctor, but it’s hard to memorise lengthy notes. And what makes me more perturbed is the fact that there are students in my class who are not only good in studies but they are also good with computer and technology. They also participate in extra curricular activities and on top of that they watch movies, read books, listen to music … in short, enjoy life. I, on the other, hand spend my time juggling with my text books only! Is there anything lacking in me? Please help me. Guru, what am I supposed to do?

Depressed Student

Dear Depressed Student,

There is nothing lacking in you. It’s just that you think too much about your studies. Have you considered why your contemporaries are better than you? It’s not that they are highly intelligent people. Actually they are smart guys who know when to study and when to relax. If you tax your mind unnecessarily, your brain gets tired soon – leaving very little room for other activities. I suggest that instead of ‘memorising’, try to understand the subject. Don’t study halfheartedly, as if it is your punishment or duty. Try to involve yourself wholeheartedly. You are studying human body in order to be able to help people. Besides, it is interesting to know how the human body functions. And don’t study alone; try to study in a group. When you study in a group you don’t tend to get bored and you tend to learn more quickly. Try to spare some time for leisure activities like reading or watching movies to stay fresh and focused. Good luck! 

My shyness is my enemy

Dear Guru,

I am 15 years old and I am quite shy. I do not take part in class discussion because of my shyness. Although I am quite frank with my family and friends, I still I cannot talk comfortably to everybody. Also, I am afraid of taking responsibilities because I do not have that much self confidence. I am very depressed because of my shyness. Everyday I try my level best to behave confidently but I have failed miserably so far. I am otherwise an intelligent girl but because of my shyness I am unable to impress people. Please help me to overcome this problem.

Shy Princess

Dear Shy Princess,

Mostly teenagers are shy and they lack confidence, but there is nothing to worry about. It is quite a common phenomenon. There are different ways to deal with shyness. First, you need to believe that you are a confident girl. Don’t feel bad about being shy. If you feel strong from inside, you will also come out as a confident and bold person. Since you are familiar with your family, you feel comfortable in their company. But it’s human nature that you are bit reluctant while talking to new people. I think it has got to do with age also. As you grow older, you will gain more exposure and knowledge. And that very knowledge and exposure will help you in boosting your confidence. So don’t bother about impressing people right now. Just be yourself and try to be more social. Soon you will notice positive changes in you. Good luck!

I am in love

Hello Guru,

I am Meresa. My problem is that I am addicted to the internet to the extent that I have started to neglect my studies and that’s a worrisome situation for me. Secondly, I have a crush on someone. He is clueless about my feelings for him. He is going to England soon. Should I disclose my feelings? Please tell me what to do?

X Love Struck

Dear X Love Struck,

If you are serious about your studies, then you must try to curtail the hours of using the net. I am not suggesting that you stop using the net altogether, but you need to organise yourself. Your studies should be your first priority and I think you are already aware of that. As for your second problem, I advice you to keep your feelings to yourself. The guy is leaving for England; I see no point in disclosing your feelings at this time. If he is interested in you then he will contact you himself. Good luck!

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