Dear Guru,

I was deeply in love with a girl ‘S’. I sent my parents to her with a proposal, but her parents refused my proposal. They said that I was still studying and didn’t have a good job. I was really upset with this and couldn’t concentrate on my studies at that time. Later, I got a good job in a multinational company.

Though I am settled now, I cannot forget her. I try to spend time with my friends so that I can forget her, but she is always on my mind. I have even tried to approach her again, but she says that she does not want to marry anyone. She is not pretty or extraordinary, and her looks are also very normal. I have even tried starting a new relationship, but whenever I start talking to any girl, it feels like I am cheating or doing something terribly wrong. I don’t know what to do. I am depressed.

Lonely Neutron

Dear Lonely Neutron,

I think that since you are settled now, you must send your parents ‘again’ to S’s house. Actually, all parents want a secure future for their daughters. When you proposed to her, you were only a student. So, it was understandable why her parents refused your proposal. But this time your chances are bright as you have a substantial standing. The fact that you are still not ready for another relationship indicates that your heart still wants her. There is one thing that you have probably not given thought to: S is single, too. It is possible that she is still waiting for you, but she probably will never say - she could be one of those girls who can sacrifice their love for their parents. I am sure if her parents agree to your proposal, she won’t object. So, muster some courage and try once more to get your true love. Good luck!

My colleagues irritate me

Salaam Guru,

I work and my salary is quite good but the environment of our office is not     good. My colleagues always strive to ridicule me by any means. I do not know the reason behind this attitude … they might be jealous as I am more qualified than them, or perhaps something else about me bothers them. Should I go for another job?  I am not stable financially and support my house with my salary. My mother supports me a lot. What should I do?  

Dejected Soul

Dear Dejected Soul,

These days it is hard to get a decent job. There are so many jobless people out there who have no employment despite being qualified. So don’t even think about leaving your good job just because you are not getting along with your colleagues. You see, whenever you go you are bound to face all kinds of people and you have to deal with them. When one enters practical life, one has to act sensibly. Just don’t pay heed to what your colleagues say. You go to your office to work - not to make friendships. So just concentrate on your work as you are supporting your family, too, and leaving your job will not be a wise decision at all. And yes, a word of advice, review your behaviour as well. May be your attitude is also not right. Be diplomatic and try to maintain cordial relations with your colleagues. There is no harm in taking an initiative as this will save you from mental agony. Good luck!

I want to make friends

Hi Guru,

I         am writing to you to get a solution for my problem. My problem is that    I cannot make any best friend. Previously, when our new session started          I made a friend after a short time          but soon got tired of her and just wanted to get rid of her, and wanted to make a new friend. And then again the same thing happened to me. After tha,          I searched for a new one. And, at last,          I am left alone. And there is no one with whom  I can share things. Please, Guru, tell me how I can make a friend who would be with me for a year.

Depressed Leo

Dear Depressed Leo,

You do not make friends for a year or for a particular time, as friends are supposed to be forever. I have seen friendships last for more than 40 years. Actually, the problem lies with you, not with anyone else. You seem to posses a restless, impulsive nature and people with such attitude always want quick changes in their life. You have changed many friends in a short span of time, which indicates that you lack substance and patience. Dear, if you really need a friend in your life then try to become a friend first and then complain. Try to bring positive changes in you and believe me in no time you will be surrounded by good friends. Good luck!