Hi Guru,

I am an 18-year-old girl. My problem is that I spend all my time alone. I don’t like to talk to my family members or friends, although I really care about them and they are nice to me. I think my way of thinking is different from everyone else.

My second problem is that I have made some facebook friends. They are also nice but I don’t want to talk to them anymore. I added them through a fake id, but I am fed up of telling lies. At the same time, I enjoy doing this a lot. Please help. I don’t want to spend my life alone anymore.

A.G

Dear A. G,

There are two types of people in this world – extroverts and introverts. Broadly speaking, extroverts are socially active people and introverts are generally shy by nature. Since you are an introvert, it is difficult for you to interact with people. You need to understand that being an introvert does not mean you lack something, it is simply a natural and healthy personality trait. However, feeling lonely is not a good sign, so you must make an effort to overcome your shyness. Since you are not comfortable talking to your family and friends, you should try to find the right social group for you. Many introverts have no trouble socialising online, but you must try face-to-face socialising. And a tried and tested rule is to join a club. There are very strong chances that you will find people who have ideas and interests similar to yours. It will help you in building new friendships and you won’t feel lonely anymore.

As for your second problem, it’s about time you come out of your shell and reveal your true identity (on FB). There is no point making fake ids and telling lies as it has no end. Be honest, as it will always save you from embarrassments. Good luck!  

Caught between the two

Hey Guru,

I love the way you solve others’ problems. I never thought I would write to you, but here I am with my own set of problems. I had a boy friend ‘A’. We were very serious about each other but we broke up over something very trivial. While we were having an affair, there was another guy ‘B’ who was really interested in me. I was friendly with him but then I stopped talking to him a year ago as I was serious with ‘A’.

Now that I have broken up with ‘A’ I am thinking of patching up with ‘B’. I think I have hurt him and I should apologise. But now ‘A’ is not replying to my messages. I miss both ‘A’ and ‘B’ and I love them both. I am so confused. Whom should I choose?    

Confused Like Hell    

Dear Confused Like Hell,

You had good times with ‘A’ and ‘B’ both. While you were having an affair with ‘A’, you were conveniently flirting with ‘B’. I don’t know what you were thinking at that time but dear ‘you cannot have your cake and eat it too’ - it had to happen one day. You have broken up with ‘A’ and now you have lost ‘B’. Of course ‘B’ will never come to you again as he now knows that you were not sincere with him. I advise you to stop living in fool’s paradise. Forget about ‘A’ and ‘B’ and concentrate on your studies. And next time when you fall in love, make sure that you don’t cheat. Good luck!

I love football

Salaam Guru,

I am a 13-year-old boy. I belong to a well-to-do family and I study in a prestigious school. I love playing football. I am the best player in my school. I want to play this game professionally and my coach has advised me to join a sports club. But the problem is that my parents are not encouraging me. They say that I must choose some other sport like cricket. They think that only cricketers in Pakistan can make fame and money. Guru, I am not interested in cricket. I want to make my country’s name in the world of football just like Aisam-ul-Haq has made his country proud internationally in tennis. Please help.

Football Fanatic

Dear Football Fanatic,

In a way your parents are right. In our country generally cricketers are treated as celebrities, but don’t lose heart. If you keep on playing well and are persistent in your efforts, you can be like Aisam-ul-Haq. But mind you, you cannot play football alone - you need to have an equally energetic team. For this purpose you have to motivate your co-players, too. You are only 13 and I am sure with consistent support from your coach you can be selected at the national level. As far as your parents are concerned, I am sure they will eventually accept your choice when they see your enthusiasm and passion. Good luck!

I want to stop blabbing

Dear Guru,

I have a serious problem that lands me into trouble so often. I just can’t stop talking, and end up blabbing out things I shouldn’t unintentionally. I want to get rid of my bad habit. Please help.

Big Talker

Dear Big Talker,

I am happy that you realise your problem and want to rectify it. Unfortunately, it’s a common problem and people don’t understand that this seemingly innocuous habit can cause serious problems. When you talk too much, you may end up hurting other people’s feelings. So, my dear, try to speak only when it’s needed. Do yourself a favour and ask any of your confidants to keep a check on you, but the best way to overcome this problem is to be your own critic. Make a conscious effort to talk less. Try listening to people instead. Old habits die hard but with patience and persistence you can overcome your weakness. Good luck!